Quote & Humour of the Day - 19 April 2011

Today's QUOTE:
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was asked what type of earning was best, and he replied: ” A man’s work with his hands and every (lawful) business transaction.”
——— Al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 846.
.......
Today's HUMOUR

An American, an Italian and a Sardar were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building...
They were eating lunch and the American said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building." The Italian opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Pasta again! If I get pasta one more time I'm going to jump off, too." The Sardar opened his lunch and said, "Paratha and dal again. If I get paratha and daal one more time I'm jumping too."
Next day - The American opens his lunch box, sees corned beef and cabbage and jumps to his death. The Italian opens his lunch, sees pasta and jumps. The Sardar opens his lunch, sees paratha and daal and jumps to his death also...
At the funeral..... The American's wife is weeping... She says, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef & cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!" The Italian's wife also weeps and says "I could have given him pizza or lasagna! I didn't realize he hated pasta so much." Everyone turned and stared at the Sardar's wife... "Hey, don't look at me," she said, "He makes his own lunch!"

....................

Note: The Jokes shared here are "JUST FOR FUN" purposes. "FATA Awareness Initiative" Team respects all Human Beings irrespective of their race, colour, religion or gender and does not intend to hurt anyone's feelings. If, however, someone's feelings are hurt by some joke shared here, We apologise for that.
....................


We Hope You find the info useful. Keep visiting this blog and remember to leave your feedback / comments / suggestions / requests.
With Regards,
"FATA Awareness Initiative" Team.

Quote & Humour of the Day - 18 April 2011

Today's QUOTE:
The world is like an eye, a beard, a spot of beauty and eyebrow, Where each thing is neatly in place.
Hafiz

.......

Today's HUMOUR 
There were three generals, a Chinese, a Russian, and an Indian. They were bragging about how good each of their armies were.

The Chinaman said, "My army would kill themselves for their country!"

Then he put a platoon in a little room and told them, "When this feather hits the floor I want all of you to shoot yourselves!"

He then went outside the room and five seconds later there were numerous gunshots and everyone in the room was dead.

Next came the Russian General and he said the same thing to one of his platoons. About seven seconds later they heard gunshots and once again everyone was dead.

Finally came the Indian and he did the same to his platoon (consisting of Sardars). Several seconds past and there were no gunshots. They decided to wait a little longer. Then several more seconds past and still no gunshots.

Finally they went in and the whole Indian platoon was on the floor blowing under the feather to keep it up.  
....................

Note: The Jokes shared here are "JUST FOR FUN" purposes. "FATA Awareness Initiative" Team respects all Human Beings irrespective of their race, colour, religion or gender and does not intend to hurt anyone's feelings. If, however, someone's feelings are hurt by some joke shared here, We apologise for that.
....................
Keep visiting this blog and remember to leave your feedback / comments / suggestions / requests.
With Regards,
"FATA Awareness Initiative" Team.

Quote & Humour of the Day - 16 April 2011

Today's QUOTE:
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm ... As you grow older you will discover that you have two hands. One for helping yourself, the other for helping others.
Audrey Hepburn

.......

Today's HUMOUR

1) God must love stupid people; he made so many.

2) I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

3) Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

4) To err is human, to really foul things up requires a computer.

.......


We Hope You find the info useful. Keep visiting this blog and remember to leave your feedback / comments / suggestions / requests.
With Regards,
"FATA Awareness Initiative" Team.

Quote & Humour of the day - 15 April 2011

Today's QUOTE:
By three methods we may learn wisdom: 
First, by reflection, which is noblest; 
Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and 
third by experience, which is the bitterest.
Confucius

.......

Today's HUMOUR
1) You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

2) Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

3) Quoting one is plagiarism; Quoting many is research.

4) You are not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

5) Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

6) The trouble with life is there's no background music.
.......


We Hope You find the info useful. Keep visiting this blog and remember to leave your feedback / comments / suggestions / requests.
With Regards,
"FATA Awareness Initiative" Team.

Quote & Humour of the Day - 14 April 2011

Today's QUOTE:
I find it fascinating that most people plan their vacations with better care than they do their lives.
Jim Rohn
.......

Today's HUMOUR
1) My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't!

2) I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

3) Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

4) I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

5) Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
.......


We Hope You find the info useful. Keep visiting this blog and remember to leave your feedback / comments / suggestions / requests.
With Regards,
"FATA Awareness Initiative" Team.

Quote & Humour of the Day - 13 April 2011

Today's QUOTE:

It is better to lead from behind and to put others in front, especially when you celebrate victory when nice things occur. You take the front line when there is danger. Then people will appreciate your leadership.
Nelson Mandela

......

Today's HUMOUR:

The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employees home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered, "Hello?"

Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster the boss asked," Is your Daddy home?"

"Yes", whispered the small voice. "May I talk with him?" the man asked. To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, "No."

Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked," Is your Mommy there?"

"Yes", came the answer. "May I talk with her?" Again the small voice whispered, "no".

Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left home alone, the boss decided he would just leave a message with the person who should be there watching over the child. "Is there anyone there besides you?" the boss asked the child.

"Yes" whispered the child, "A policeman". Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked "May I speak with the policeman"?

"No, he's busy", whispered the child." Busy doing what?, asked the boss. "Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman", came the whispered answer.

Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the ear piece on the phone the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
"A hello-copper", answered the whispering voice. "What is going on there?", asked the boss, now alarmed.

In an awed whispering voice the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper"
Alarmed, concerned and more than just a little frustrated the boss asked, "Why are they there"?

Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle:

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"They are looking for ME"

........

Keep visiting this blog and remember to leave your feedback / comments / suggestions / requests. 

With Regards, 

"FATA Awareness Initiative" Team.

Quote, Humour of the Day - 12 April 2011

Today's QUOTE:

Give to every human being every right that you claim for yourself.
Robert Green Ingersoll

......

Today's HUMOUR:

A: Why are you crying?
B: The elephant is dead.
A: Was he your pet?
B: No, but I'm the one who must dig his grave.

........

Keep visiting this blog and remember to leave your feedback / comments / suggestions / requests. 

With Regards, 

"FATA Awareness Initiative" Team.

Quote, Humour of the Day - 11 April 2011

Today's QUOTE:

You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else.
Albert Einstein
...

Today's HUMOUR:

Are You Kidding?
Reaching the end of a job interview, the HR person asked a Fresh Graduate, "And what starting salary are you looking for?"

The applicant said, "In the neighborhood of Rs. 150,000 a month, depending on the benefits package."

The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of: 
*** 5-weeks vacation
*** 14 paid holidays
*** full medical and insurance
*** company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary and
*** a company car leased every two years - say, a "Corolla" 2010?"

The applicant sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"

And the interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."

......

Keep visiting this blog and remember to leave your feedback / comments / suggestions / requests. 

With Regards, 

"FATA Awareness Initiative" Team.

Quote, Humour of the Day - 10 April 2011

Today's QUOTE:

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.
Robert Louis Stevenson

 

Today's HUMOUR:

Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping pills.
Wife: When must I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for YOU.

Keep visiting this blog and remember to leave your feedback / comments / suggestions / requests. 

With Regards, 

"FATA Awareness Initiative" Team.

Quote, Humour of the Day - 09 April 2011

Today's QUOTE:

A hug is like a boomerang - you get it back right away.

Bil Keane.

.......

Today's HUMOUR:

SOFTWARE ENGINEERS!!

There was a good old barber in Bangalore. One day a florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies:

I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a Community Service. Florist is happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is a "Thank You" Card and a dozen roses waiting at his door.

A Confectioner goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber he again refuses to take the money. The Confectioner is happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is another "Thank you" Card and a dozen Cakes waiting at his door.

A Software Engineer goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber again refuses the money saying that it was a community service.

The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, guess what he finds there......

Scroll down for answer... . . . . . . .. . . . ....

(Believe me it's worth it!!!!!!!!!!)

....

..

..

..

..

..

..

A Dozen Software engineers waiting for a free haircut... with Printouts of forwarded mail mentioning about free haircut

.......

Keep visiting this blog and remember to leave your feedback / comments / suggestions / requests. 

With Regards, 

"FATA Awareness Initiative" Team.